Learning a new language has given me a brand new compassion for screaming babies on airplanes. Of course they’re crying, it’s frustrating to want to get your point across but not have the words to do it. After six months of classes and a year of being immersed in the Spanish language, I’d say that I’m conversational but still far from fluent. In fact, the more I venture out conversationally, the more I realize I don’t have the words I need to articulate myself.
I don’t want to burst your bubble, but there are so many misconceptions about how easy it is to learn a new language. If you think that you speak Spanish because you took a few classes in college and did great with your slowly speaking professor in the hallway during an oral exam, you’re mistaken. Another misconception is that a module or two here and there with a language software program is enough to set you on the path to fluency. Sorry, that isn’t too realistic either.
Learning Spanish over this past year has been an emotional experience just as much as it has been mental. That said, this post about learning a new language is coming to you in two parts. Today, it’s all about the emotional speed bumps that caught me by surprise.
Get used to being out of your comfort zone
I don’t like making mistakes or being laughed at which made me reluctant to practice Spanish outside of class. Eventually, I had to throw my hands up and just go with it because I don’t think there is any way you can become proficient at a new language if you’re afraid to make mistakes. The good news is that the worst thing that has ever happened to me was a chuckle or a quizzical look.
There is also a deer-in-the-headlights look you’ll inevitably slip into when someone hears a two syllable Spanish reply and then overestimates your fluency. Sometimes I’ll just take a stab at an appropriate response. Otherwise, I have to bite the bullet and explain I’m learning and ask them to repeat what was said. Todavía estoy aprendiendo español is a good first phrase to master.
Every day will be different, so don’t be too hard on yourself
Unfortunately, learning a foreign language isn’t a slow and steady linear climb. It’s more like the image of an EKG but with a few more flat lines. Even after a year in Colombia, I find myself getting tripped up by simple questions—just think of how many ways you can ask where a person is from. If I meet someone with a different accent or who talks quickly, I sometimes won’t understand a thing. Other days I feel like my brain isn’t connected to my mouth. I know what needs to be said but the syllables just don’t come out in order. On the other hand, some days it just clicks and words or conjugations that felt like rocks in my mouth come out easily.
No two days are the same. On those days I feel like an idiot, I always think back to a conversation I had with a girlfriend who moved to the states when she was in high school and didn’t know a word of English. She reminded me that even after speaking English for two decades, she still makes mistakes and is learning new words. Languages are big, unwieldy, living things and there is no way around the fact that it takes time and an attitude of continual learning to become proficient. Rome wasn’t built in a day, folks.
It takes a lot of energy
There was a point after our first couple months in Bogotá that I just didn’t have the energy to go out of the house. I did of course, but I was never without my earbuds or without my nose buried in a book—anything to avoid a verbal interaction beyond good morning. I wasn’t trying to be anti-social. It was because I cannot describe the sheer amount of mental energy it takes to spend your entire day listening and comprehending. By the end of the day, I was wiped out!
I have been completely caught off guard at how little energy I need to hear English and never really considered how often I multitask while talking to other people. When having conversations in Spanish, there is no multitasking—if my mind wanders for a split second, my grasp of the conversation is gone and I have to wait until the topic changes to join in again. It definitely took my brain a few months to adjust to being “on” like this all of the time.
It’s all about confidence
Cody and I have muttered this sentence to each other in wonder probably a hundred times since we’ve moved here: it’s incredible how much confidence impacts your ability to speak well. For instance, if I am in a taxi with someone who doesn’t speak English, I have no problem rattling on and on about places I’ve been, my favorite museums or restaurants and what I did last weekend. Or with my friend from Russia—our common language is Spanish and she and I will go out to lunch and I’ll lose track of time as we crack up telling stories. But, if one of Cody’s colleagues offers me a simple greeting in Spanish, I go mute.
Somehow, knowing that Spanish is the only language option greatly increases my confidence in my ability to speak. On the contrary, there is a bit of shirking away from Spanish when I know that my conversation partner speaks perfect English. My internal quandary is always something like why would I put them through my floundering Spanish when quick, easy exchanges are possible in English? I don’t have any tips for getting around this one. There are just some people to whom I’ll always speak in English.
Don’t worry, it hasn’t all been gloom and doom! Honestly, I’ve been surprised at how quickly I’ve gotten to a place where I feel comfortable communicating in pretty much any situation. Maybe there have been a few chuckles, but people have truly only been kind to me when I stumble over my words. And if I’m being candid, learning to take myself a little less seriously has only been a good thing!